Ralph Snart Adventures Volume 1 Issue 3

Publisher: NOW Comics
Published: August 1986
Title: Untitled
Editors: Tony Caputo and Marc Hansen
Art/story: Marc Hansen
Cover: Marc Hansen

Ralph is hooked up to the KGB's psycho ray, but his amazing brain blows up the machine. Ralph appears to be "cured." We left Ralph in his fantasy land in New York city in 1954, and he is employed as an artist for horror comics. Ralph and his co-worker, Gore Nutton are goofing around the office when they hear their dreaded boss, Mr. Kutoutheart, coming by. He comes in and screams at them just for the heck of it. Later, Ralph goes home and Nutton continues to work. A monster jumps out of Nutton's comic and kills him and a delivery boy, but before the boy dies, he is able to call Ralph at home and warn him the monster has sworn to kill Ralph too. Ralph dismisses this call as another one of Gore's pranks just as the monster crashes through his door.

The monster chases Ralph around, culminating with tossing a telephone booth (with Ralph inside) though a window. The booth however, lands in the backseat of a taxi cab and Ralph has the driver take him to his girlfriend Sheila's house. She is mad at him about something else, so she proceeds to kick his ass. The monsters enter her apartment, but they escape out the fire escape, and when she falls down and puts on the "damsel in distress" act, Ralph tells her to "snap out of it, ya dumb broad!" This pisses her off, and she begins to kick his ass again. Soon, the monsters catch up to him, and she starts beating the crap out of them as well!

Ralph, shocked by seeing his girlfriend heaving around huge flesh-chowing monsters, screams "I WANT OUT" of his dreamstate, and he is returned to reality. The KGB straps Ralph to a scud missle, and returns him to the USA. Dr. Kreegon then gives Ralph a clean bill of health. Ralph returns to his accounting office, but everything has been stolen. Then Ralph is mugged, but finds his wallet has already been pick-pocketed. This pisses off the mugger who then kicks Ralph's ass. A street punk happens by, but refuses to help Ralph and spray paints him. Ralph eventually makes his way home, but his apartment building is being torn down.

After this awful streak of bad luck, Ralph becomes a homeless vagrant. The story ends with an unknown man viewing Ralph wandering in the park through a gun scope, and shooting the vagrant Ralph.

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