Ralph Snart Adventures Volume 4 Issue 3Newsstand Direct Market
Publisher: NOW Comics
Published: July 1992
Title: Mind Games Part 3
Editors: Tony Caputo, Joan Weis and Marc Hansen
Art/story: Marc Hansen
Cover: Marc Hansen
Colorist: Suzanne Dechnik
Mr. Lizard has kicked Dr. Goot's ass, and takes Ralph, in a severe state of goof from Goot's experiments, in the Gootmobile to see a doctor; but Mr. Lizard can't help but stop at the first bar they pass. Inside, the patrons wonder why Ralph is so messed up, so Mr. Lizard tells them Ralph got that way in the Mekong Delta in 1968, and starts telling tall tales about him and Ralph in Vietnam. Meanwhile, Ralph's huge snout falls into his glass of beer, and he becomes his normal self again.
Ralph informs the Veteran patrons that he wasn't even born in 1968! The patrons all surround Mr. Lizard, ready to kick his and Ralph's ass. Suddenly, a strange woman, Madam Orkle, appears from the back room, and rescues Ralph; "I must have this man" she say's. She drags Ralph in her room, where he finds a Rubik's cube, which is the vehicle for transportation between this and the fourteenth dimension, ruled by the Great Nooby; Madam Orkle is his Channeler in this dimension. In the meantime, Mr. Lizard takes on all the patrons of the bar and kicks ass, including that of the huge muscular Captain Woundme, whose face he punches right through his back!
Mr. Lizard then rushes to the back room, where the Great Nooby is pronouncing Ralph and Madam Orkle "dimensional soulmates" and they are sucked into Rubik's cube. Mr. Lizard, being Ralph's fairy Godlizard, jumps in after them. The passage of time does not exist in the Great Nooby's dimension, so as soon as they enter, Ralph and Mr. Lizard exit, Ralph dressed in a hula outfit, and asking to go back.
Mr. Lizard informs Ralph he is still a sick man, and they must get to a doctor. Mr. Lizard takes Ralph to see his old doctor, Kreegon. Dr. Kreegon is very happy to see Ralph; he has become rich and world renowned due to Ralph's case, and has written three best sellers. After a few months in Dr. Kreegon's care, Ralph becomes "better" and Dr. Kreegon writes another book, and both he and Ralph become huge stars.
Ralph lives the lifestyle of the rich and famous for a while, but one day he gets his ass kicked by "Homie Simpson" in a bar, and Homie takes pictures of Ralph in some compromising positions with hookers and blackmails him. Ralph's star falls as fast as it rises, and he becomes a noboby.
Ralph quickly reverts back to his old self (insane) and is placed back under Dr. Kreegon's care; X-rays show that Ralph's brain is evaporating, and eventually disintegrates. Ralph, even though he has no brain at all, escapes one day while his dinner is being delivered. Something or someone must be guiding the brainless Ralph Snart.
Also In This Issue: Poly-bagged with trading card.